just recently a loving friend said to me "when you find more compassion for yourself - for that part of you - you will discover more passion for life"...... I knew what he said to be true, it shimmered inside of me - an elusive potential beckoning me close, yet just beyond my conscious reach. I saw clearly: I cannot 'do' compassion; I cannot make it happen....all I can do is know this to be true........true as that tiny speck of warm light that sits in my heart.. the tiny speck that blazes as the Sun, engulfing me in its fiery embrace... the tiny speck that seems to disappear when facing Her black void....
the tango of light and dark that dances me through evolution...
through this latest encounter with Her dark face I find I am not losing myself so desperately... through the tenderness of utter acceptance of what She brings, through the knowing that Her darkness is a deep rich soil out of which new form arises, profundity emerges. She teaches me..... 'embrace My black night utterly...I have much to teach you about the womb... the place before birth.. the space emergence takes it shape, its colour, its texture and form'.....'in here you discover how life is made'... so I stayed in.... stayed in.... then I tried to emerge... She pulled me back in....'you cannot leave Me yet' she screamed... 'you are not prepared'. I fell back in and stayed.....I gazed at Her face......I felt Her.... awareness begins to pierce, to shatter, to enlighten Her anguish........ understanding opens
how the new emerges is Her mystery... I thought I was still in there when compassion surfaced.... I was mistaken.....for somehow the light and dark fused.... an almost visible thread
it's a new place, an innocence that knows no separation of black and white... that encompasses the whole play.. for it is a play.... a beautiful, terrible play.
I know that now... for the sun shines even when I cannot see or feel it... and that tiny speck of warm light sits in the heart ...
passion for life .... compassion for life... it's the fire that warms and transforms the darkness....
She is not gone.....She has Her beautiful terrible part to play........She has Her gift to bring us all....
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